Anger management-Part 1



Anger

We give it different names. Whether you call it rage, frustration, fury or indignation, it was the subliminal force that drove people to extremes of violence that bathed our island in blood. It is the force you deal with every day, whether you feel outraged after a passing car decorates your immaculate white shirt with splotches of mud or when a colleague yells at you for no reason at all.

Anger: Is it useless, needed to some extent, or essential? 
Let me ask that question in another way. Is fever useless, needed to some extent, or essential? Do I hear you saying “Oh! Fever? Feeling uncomfortable for days on end? You call that “necessary”?” Yet scientifically, fever is a symptom which can help us to detect life-threatening diseases early on. It is a defense mechanism of the body. Therefore fever is essential. 
Similarly, anger is essential. When we feel angry, it indicates that either we or others are not meeting the standards we have in our minds. If you don’t feel angry, other people would walk all over you and you would never be the best you can be.
To put it in brief, feelingangry is completely all right; it is our reaction that we should look out for.
Whenever you sense this feeling creeping up on you, first of all, accept that you are feeling angry. Then ask yourself why you feel so. Fine, your sister grabbed that last piece of cake from your hands. Is it reasonable enough to yell and make a scene?  For every situation, ask yourself whether you can tolerate it. Is it just the way your sister is? Perhaps it is just because your standards and the other person’s standards differ. What may be outrageous to you would be completely acceptable to another.
 If you feel that you cannot tolerate the other, then it is time for an open discussion. By that I mean a conversation where both parties get to have their say and not a tearing-your-hair-out-name-calling-stomping-around session. In an open discussion, both parties should strive to reach a middle ground. If it was a debate, you would lose whether you win or not. When you win, you do not learn anything and your relationship is damaged, sometimes forever. When you lose, you learn something; yet once again your bond maybe ruined beyond repair.
In the next article, we would be looking at the ill effects of anger and how we can control it.
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2 thoughts on “Anger management-Part 1”

  1. Posts like these are extremely important because they don't just say, "look, here's the problem." They explain the problem and the offer a solution. And the subject you've chosen to discuss is ideal for the blog, and for the current situation around the globe.We often let our anger get the best of us. We never count to ten before saying something or doing something. People laugh when I tell them not to kill mosquitoes. Have you noticed the look of pure anger in their faces when the mosquito stings? That anger if for a small amount of pain. Imagine what such people are capable of doing when people hurt them?We can't go around killing people, or beating them up just because we are anger. I mean, we are all angry at some point, but it's not an excuse to hurt people. So we must instead control our anger.

  2. Thank you Shailee! I guess counting to ten has the same effect as accepting and rethinking about our response. Well, the thing about mosquitoes: now that you said the reason behind it, I see what a logical thing it is! True, people scowl in irritation when they see a mosquito. If we let the itty-bitty things get to us so much… Hmmm…

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